DECEMBER!!

Okay so let's start things with saying "WOW!!" It feels as if the year had only just started and it's coming to an end already. Which means that in less than 50 days I'll be leaving to go back to the UK. As you'd probably guess this isn't the worst news in the world. but to be honest it's not the best news either. I love New Zealand, more so due to the people as opposed to the country, but i suppose it could be worse. So far since being here it has been a bit of a roller-coaster journey. There have been good times and Just don't even go there times, but as of right now I can safely say I wouldn't change a thing. The things that have happened have taught me some valuable life lessons and I'm not about to forget them in a hurry. So what are these lessons, I suppose I should answer that right?? 

 So life lesson one: Look after Number 1 and by number 1 I mean ME/YOU/I, basically yourself. This doesn't mean you have to become self-centered, but to look out for you. Okay??

 Next life lesson: Actions have consequences, whether they are good or bad. You make your bed and you have to lie in it. Sometimes the decisions of others can affect you, and all you can do is stand tall, head up high and ride out the storm. 

 So the very last lesson is simple, Have opinions, have goals, have desires, dreams, wishes, hopes and aspirations and most of all have faith that one day your dreams will come true. But most of all remember this, when one door closes another door opens. You may not see the light now, but in time all will become clear.

"For with each dawn, she found new hope that someday, her dreams of happiness would come true."

So I guess I should quit with the life coaching attempts, heh ¬.¬'' I guess i'm not good at it after all, but oh well. Right so what else can I update you with. Well lets see, the last post I really had a good talk to you with, kinda ended on a depressing note. But I can say since then things have been moving on up. Booyahh hunny!! Right so my birthday happened, I got a new job, I went on a road trip with friends and I started learning to drive. So yeah, not that much has happened but it's been far more eventful than my life has been since I finished school. Guess that shows how much of an anti-social person I am. 

I'm 22 and next year (no surprise) I'll be turning 23. I'd have thought that by now I'd have everything in life basically sorted. Well guess what, it hasn't happened yet. I'm still as childish as ever and I still have no control over my life. So how do you suppose I change this?? First step, learning to drive. Once I have managed to do that my world will open up. I won't be relying on others to get me from A to B, I'll be able to take myself places. So what are my future plans aside from driving? I plan on learning to love myself and appreciate me for what I can provide on my own. I want to be able to buy my own car, rent my own place and hold a steady job. I don't want to be a woman who needs a man, but rather a woman that a man needs. :| Yeah that sounded way better in my head that it does on here but hopefully you get the message right?? It's not like people take that much notice of what I write on here, or do they?? 

Okay so lets switch it up. For the past couple of months I've noticed things changing. I'm no longer agreeing with everything people say and I've kicked the people pleasing habit to a certain degree. I've been doing things my way and have started to feel better for it. I am me and no-one else can be a better me. 

So maybe I should tell you a little bit about myself ( not that you don't know too much already ) 

I'm a 22 year old woman trying to swim in the sea of life. I have lots of hobbies and interests but they all seem to be old granny hobbies; Crosstitching, Sewing, Baking, Knitting, scrapbooking etc... I love music, I basically have a favourite song from every genre, from the heavy metal and Screamo, to the classical melodies. I also love movies, with my favourite genre being thriller/psychological horrors and my least fave genre being comedies. But on saying that I do love  a good Adam Sandler movie, Will Smith, The carry on series and a couple more comedy films :/ SO I guess I'm a bit of a contradiction. But the truth be told that's me all over. I don't like dogs and yet I want a puppy, I hate the colour pink and yet I have pretty much everything in pink. I prefer Winter to summer, Spring to Autumn. White to Black, Gothic to girly, Night to day and the list goes on. My lucky number is 7, though I always seem the find the number 3 doing more favours for me. I love Tarot cards and mystical creatures such as fairies, demons, witches and all things magical, but I don't believe in them. My star sign is cancer and my favourite crystal is Amethyst. So that's it, I don't think I've missed too much out :3

Right so as for the life changing lessons, this is what I've been doing to fix all the mistakes that I keep making. I try to be happy and not let stress get to me which has caused me to develop the f**k it mentality. kinda strange right. The mentality is this, I was anxious about flying to New Zealand on my own, but then suddenly I realised If I didn't take that step I'd be stuck in my hometown forever, the solution is simple, I just thought f**k it, and pushed myself forward. Another way for you to look at it is the "bite the bullet" theory. As at the end of the day if you don't try then you'll always fail, but if you take that chance you have the opportunity to succeed in life. I chose to stop letting my fears control my life, I'm in the driving seat now and THIS IS MY LIFE!!!!

Anime tag :3

Here are 25 questions to be answered (all anime related, of course!) and if you're an anime fan and have some free time, you should do this tag too :D I saw this on Serah's blog so here we go :3 

~~~

Question 1.
Who is your favourite male anime 
Oh man is this a difficult question, but if I had to pick one male character I would have to say Kai from Beyblade. He's the first character that comes to mind and I've always loved him, it used to be a tie between him and Duo Maxwell from Gundam Wing. :3  

Question 2.

Who is your favourite female anime character?

Again, another hard question! So let's go with the first that comes to mind, so her I go. . . . RYOKO!! From Tenchi Muyo :3 Love Love Love Loooooovvvvvvveeeee her!!!! <333

Question 3.

What is your favourite anime soundtrack?

I'd have to go with the soundtrack from either Escaflowne or Ghost in the shell : Stand alone complex :3 wooo 

Question 4.

What is your favourite anime opening song + animation?

Without a doubt it would have to be the Japanese opening of Escaflowne XD I love it :3 

http://youtu.be/TJZATeQvwpo

Question 5.

What is your favourite anime ending song + animation?

Hmmm I would have to pick the ending of Prince of Tennis :3 

http://youtu.be/OvBg5LHbbmo

I love it more for the song than the animation but still I love it :3

Or maybe even the ending to Outlaw Star :3 

http://youtu.be/d5yjcPHEhIk

Question 6.

What is your favourite anime scene?

Ummmmmm hmmmm what scene shall I pick??? Man oh man is this hard to pick :,) maybe, or maybe not .... Hmmm maybe the scene at the end of episode 13 of Ghost Hunt :,) that was such a sad yet heartwarming scene. I won't spoil it but man just watch it and if you don't cry well then clearly you have no heart 😭

Question 7.

If you could meet any anime character, who would it be?

Good question, I would probably want to meet Mai from Ghost Hunt :3 She's such a positive character and I think I'd have a lot to learn from her :) 

Question 8.

What anime character is most similar to you in terms of personality?

Hmmm let's see :/ I would love to say that I am like Tohru Honda, but I guess others would probably pick other characters. 

Question 9.

What is your favourite thing about anime?

I love everything about anime. EVERYTHING!! The story's, the character designs, the scenery and most of all the other fans. It's like a family that you have become a part of. An amazing form of escapism and yeah I just LOVE it!!! XD 

Question 10.

What is your least favourite thing about anime?

I don't like it when my favourite series end :3 and that's about it really :,)

Question 11.

Who are your favourite anime couple?

EASY ANSWER <333

My favourite anime couple are Chizuru and Ryu!!! Man are they so so so adowwable and cute :3 I love them so much :3 

They're just the CUTEST THING EVER!! <33

Question 12.

Who is your favourite anime animal?

Okay, so the only epic animal that springs to mind is Tiger :3 A gorgeous blue wolf :3 

Question 13.

What anime would make a good game?

I think pretty much every anime you can think of has a game adaption or was a game first.. :F

... Honestly I would have to say Drqgon Ball z, it already has a couple of games, but if like to see a different type of game. One where you get to play out the story :3

Question 14.

What game would make a good anime?

Okay, so I would have to agree with Serah as I would love to see these games turned into anime XD man would they be epic!! There's so much detail in the games that they'd have a lot of material to work with :)

Another Code: Two Memories (DS)

Another Code: R - A Journey Into Lost Memories (Wii)

Actually...Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon (Wii) would also be a great game to make into an anime! O:

Question 15.

What was the first anime you ever watched?

Before I knew what anime was, I'd have to say Sailor Moon, but actively knowing what anime is, I guess it would have to be Naruto. 

Question 16.

Do you think you'll ever stop watching anime?

I know I haven't been watching anime as much recently, but I can safely say that I'll never fully stop. When I have kids I'll just force them to watch it, mwuhahahahahaha XD

Question 17.

What is your favourite genre of anime?

Honestly I don't have a favourite genre, I love different series from pretty much every genre. Yaoi, Yuri, Horror, Shojo, Shounen and everything else :3

Question 18.

What is your least favourite genre of anime?

Hmmm maybe comedy?? I don't really like comedy anything :,)

Question 19.

Are you open about watching anime with people you know?

Sure why not?? If they want to watch it then yeah, but I wouldn't make them watch it with me. 

Question 20.

Have you ever been to Japan?

Sadly, no. I'd love to go one day, but I have some things to work out first before I plan any holidays :,)

Question 21.

What anime was the biggest let down for you?

Hmm maybe One Piece :O shocking I know, but honestly I prefer just reading the Manga. I felt it was a let down as the voice actors for Luffy are so painful to listen to, both English and Japanese :,( 

Question 22.

What anime was better than you expected?

Kyo kare maoh!! It was amazing, I didn't think it would be good, but man was I wrong :O

Question 23.

What is the best anime fight scene?

All of them in Dragon Ball Z, Naruto and One Piece XD sorry I can't pick one :,)

Question 24.

Who is your anime waifu and/or hasubando?

Every anime fan has both a waifs and a hasubando, so here are mine :3 

Syo-kun and Komari-chan <333

I think they'd make a perfect couple, especially if I were Komari-chan :3 

Question 25.

What was your favourite video game as a child?

Any of my brothers games, so Games like Soul blade and Grand turismo :) 

Okay so yep, here are my answers, hopefully you learnt something :3 have a nice day :3 

(>^-^)>*<(^-^<) 

Filofax

So let me explain. Recently I've been obsessed with watching Filofax videos on YouTube, strange I know but for some reason highly addictive. I've always wanted a filofax since I was a child, seeing my dad use his and it seemed so grown up and awesome. But for the same reason as when I was younger I never really got one. The reasons being, I don't have a hectic schedule so I never really needed an expensive diary. But after watching the YT videos I decide to dive in and give it a go. I'm hoping to organise my life a little bit better. Mainly do that I can keep track of my spending, the hours I work (it changed each night) and how lazy I am and by that I mean looking at how many days I sit around doing nothing. 

So let's get started. I ordered a Personal sized Apex Filofax in green, which comes with the basic inserts. 

The next step is to print out the "fun" inserts to jazz up the boring planner. So as I love Disney I've gone for some Alice in wonderland inspired diary pages :3 

Cute right? :3 

So this is what I'll be working with to start off with, I'll be making some things myself like the dividers so I'll update when it's halfway set up :D so yup not a very exciting update but at least it something right? So if you've done anything amazing this week please feel free to comment telling me about it so I can sit here and be jealous. Lol 

(>^-^)>*<(^-^<)

~Leigh~ 

25 questions tag

1. Most embarrassing moment.
Hmm, when I was younger I was asked to hand my sisters boyfriend his Christmas present, as I gave it to him I was like "enjoy your cd" >\\\\< it was still wrapped :,) 

2. a) Can you drive?
No, but I've had one lesson XD

2. b) Do you own a car?
Nope :,)

3. Are you mature?
Haha nope, sometimes, maybe, yeah definitely not. :/

4. What year were you born?
1992 (the year of... The Monkey)

5. Do you prefer cats or dogs?
Cats :3

6. Describe yourself physically.
I'm 5"3, chubby but not fat, more like soft :/ haha yeah I'm weird at describing things. Hmm I have just below shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes and pale pale skin :,)

7. What would you name your first child?
I've only really ever thought of boys names so it would be a choice of either 

Kai - Vaughn - Malachite :3 

All names of anime characters haha :p

8. What is the worst injury you have ever had?
Broken wrist :3

9. What is your worst habit?
Playing with my hair and or always being a pessimist :(

10. Do you drink or smoke?
I drink rarely and no I don't smoke :3

11. Do you have a tattoo?
Yes, I have 3 :)

An elf, a swallow and the jokers face :3 

12. Are you a morning or night person?
I am the Night :3

13. Have you ever slept past midday?
Always

14. Do you regret anything?
Nope, everything's a lesson :3 

15. Can you count the number of friends you have on one hand?
Yes :,( 

Internet friends no XD 

16. Do you wear glasses?
Nope! Okay yes, but technically I'm now wearing contacts :)

17. Are you a picky eater?
Yes and it's so damn annoying >X(

18. Would you die for someone?
No, I would most things for people but not die for them :/

19. If you could have any super power, what would it be?
Mind reading, for the simple fact that I hate not knowing what people think of me :,) insecure I know :( Either that or the ability to walk through walls :)

20. Do you believe in the supernatural?
Yeah, no, maybe somewhere in between :/ not sure, I'll get back to you with this one 

21. Would you rather be rich or famous?
I'd want to be rich so that I could give my family and friends the lifestyle that they deserve :) so that they're not breaking their backs on overtime and that they get to have a few luxuries in life, like a mortgage free house or just a debt free life :3

22. Have you ever committed a crime?
No

23. Pirates or ninjas? Time Traveller or ghost?
Ninja pirates? Oooh I can't pick :,)

24. Does someone have a crush on you?
Haha yeah right, have you seen me??? Plus I'm the most socially awkward person you would ever meet :,( 

25. Are you in a relationship?

Nope, but I'm okay with that. Being single is working for me at the moment :3

So that's the 25 questions out of the way XD So Serah how did I match up?? Hahaha you probably knew most of the answers to these anyway, but to anyone else I hope this was helpful or at least amusing to read. So now you know a bit more about me, let's see what your like :3 

Bioshock 2

Okay so I'll be the first to admit that I'm the worst when it comes to computer games, whether it's actual PC games or games for the different consoles, it doesn't matter I'm completely useless. Despite this, I actually enjoy playing the games. So as I'm a sucker for buying awesome games that I know I'll never complete, I thought I'd take the plunge and finally get round to buying a Bioshock game. Admittedly I wish I could have got the first game, but hey, the second games not that bad right? Right?  I've seen the playthroughs on YouTube so it should be okay. I'm planning to set myself the goal of at least getting halfway through this game by the end of the year. So wish me luck :)

Davines hair products

So for my birthday I received a couple of hair products as a gift from my fabulous friend Jenny (she's a hairdresser). The products she gave are salon quality and smell divine. I was given a Shampoo, conditioner and a hair oil, so the basics but honestly I don't use anything else so it was a nice treat :3

The shampoo is great, it doesn't lather up, but that just means that also doesn't strip your hair of it's natural oils. It keeps your hair clean, healthy and shiny without being greasy. It has the added bonus of smelling lovely. The only problem I have with the shampoo is the container as it's very easy to accidentally pour too much out onto your hands which is a bit tricky when your in the shower. The conditioner is very hydrating and leaves my hair soft and shiny. It doesn't need to be left on for a long time either for it to have an effect which is very nice. The hair oil is great as you can use it on your hair as a treatment (when it's towel dry) before leaving it to air dry or blow drying it. You can also use it on your hair when it's dry as a finishing product to prevent fly-aways and to give added shine :)

All in all after using these products for the past 2 weeks I would have to say that they are pretty amazing. I have noticed that my hair is glossy and shiny without looking greasy and that I can go 2 days without washing my hair as opposed to having to wash it daily with the Pantene Pro V shampoo I was using. I would highly recommend this range if you can get hold of it, it's an amazing set of products and well worth investing in.

* * * * *  4/5

☆〜 Change of pace 〜☆

Okay, so my next couple of posts are going to be a little different. I'm going to talk about 3 things that I have been loving recently. Something simple, so don't expect too much okay? I'm not the greatest at describing things so hopefully I'll be able to work something out :3
Constructive criticism is always welcome but please don't be rude. :)

Me as an anime character :3

Something a little lighter for a change :3

Blah blah Random thoughts

When I look back on the world from when i was younger I see that all though I know see it differently, not much has changed. People or should I say the people around me haven't changed and sometimes I think maybe that's a good thing but then I remember that change is what allows a person to grow. It moves you forward in life ever closer to the greatest goals and desires of your heart. Then I sit and think, Have I changed? Have I moved forward or am I still the same person I was all those years ago. Yes, I'd love to yes I have changed that I have become stronger, braver and more confident. However there are still days when I think nothings changed. How do you know if you've changed and how do you know if that's a good thing? I always sit and think what would my life be like if I acted the way I do in my day dreams. Would things be different, would I be happier? But those are the things I'll never know.

I guess in some ways I have changed, I have begun to open up to people more by letting them know about how I feel and all the pain that I've been carrying for most of my life. It was hard and it still is but I'm getting there. I'm just so afraid that people will look at me differently and speak to me as if I were made of glass that could shatter at any moment. I know how hard it is to try and talk to someone who isn't happy but at the same time the only reason I find it difficult is simply due to the fact that I don't want them to question me the same way. But I guess that's life, a series of unfortunate events that no one can control, all you can do is control how it affects your life and what you do with the pain/grief or the knowledge it gives you. But that's not to say that all bad things happen to hurt you, sometimes one door has to close so that another can open.

So where do we go from here? On-wards and up-wards that's where. Or at least that's where I hope to go. At the start of last year I made a decision that has since changed my life, at first it seemed to the worst decision of my life, but now when I look back I can see that it truly was the greatest choice that I've made so far. I'm guessing your wondering what this great change might have been. To put it simply " I escaped Wales". Yes that's right I ESCAPED!! For most of my life I have lived in Wales and I have hated it. To me it's the source of my misery, the people the places and even the culture. I know it's not wise to lump everyone together in one boat but I can honestly say that since I've left Wales I have felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. My heart is lighter and I have finally started to truly fell happy. Happy?? this is something that if you asked me about last year, I could honestly say that I have never truly experienced. Sad right? 

When I arrived in New Zealand the euphoria I felt from no longer being in Wales is what fueled me to keep going for the first two weeks. But then things changed, I noticed that my happiness was slipping, and it was going fast. My anxiety came back and it was worse than ever, it was so bad that I suffered 3 mini/mild panic attacks. It was horrible to suddenly be unable to breathe, feeling a pain that isn't real and just wishing I could die, anything to make it stop. New Zealand was supposed to be my miracle cure, a way to make all of the pain and the hurt disappear, but guess what, it didn't, it came with me. I'd read online that this would happen, but I guess I was naive. I hoped and prayed that things would be different, but they weren't and in some ways they were worse. I felt trapped, as if I was suffocating in a home that was supposed to be my safe haven.  

As you might already know on the 30th March 2014 I attempted to commit suicide, yes that's right I took an overdose and tried to end it all. The pain I felt was so strong that I just wanted it to stop. I guess in reality I didn't think about it that much. I just got a glass of water, took the pills and went to sleep. Okay so technically speaking I've missed out a bit in the middle, but I don't want to go into that. So basically the long and the short of it is, I did something stupid. To me it was stupid, but that doesn't mean to say that I'm happy with others calling my decision stupid. Kind of pathetic right? I can say it but you can't. But then again I've always said I was a hypocrite. 

So where do I go from here. Literally speaking I went to the hospital, which might I add was the worst part of the whole experience. As I've said before dying is easy, living is the hard part. Knowing that I had to walk into a hospital and tell a nurse and a doctor and countless other medical professionals what I had done filled me with fear. I have never cried so much in my life, I was mortified and horrified that one of my worst fears had come true. That fear was to put in hospital due to my depression, it was something I feared since I was a child, that one people would find out and I would have to be admitted to the psych ward and I'd never be able to leave. So I guess in some ways my fear didn't come true. I was admitted into the acute injuries ward and had to undergo a few tests. Then I had to wait a while for my blood tests to come back and for the observations to end. I was watched constantly and I had to repeat what had happened several times. i admit the staff were kind and compassionate but I felt like a child, like they were speaking to me as if they were expecting me to freak out at any moment and have a complete meltdown. It made me feel uncomfortable and it honestly made me wish I had died. I didn't want to see the looks on their faces, the look that you'd give a broken toy, the look of pity or hopelessness. The worst came from the people I thought I could trust, and that hurt more than you can ever imagine. 

So on the day I was admitted to hospital, something changed and it was this change that has since made my life worth living. The change, I met someone, not a romantic someone but a new friend. I'd been introduced to her before but I honestly didn't think we'd ever be friends. That was until on the 31st March she showed up at the hospital. I'd just finished having my compulsory psych evaluation when she walked in. She was in tears when she gave me a hug. It was that moment when it truly sunk in what I had done. The moment when a pretty much complete stranger cried for me someone they knew nothing about. It hurt, but not for the reasons you'd expect. It hurt because here was a stranger feeling pain and shedding tears for me when the woman I once called family was sitting next to me only thinking of how this was going to make her look. How it was going to affect her status and peoples opinion of her. She didn't care how much I hurt as long as people thought she was a good person, that it didn't affect her relationship with my parents.

So yes, In case your wondering who this woman is, her name is Jenny. she has since become a great friend and confident to me. She welcomed me into her home and into her family and I cannot thank her enough for all she has done for me. She was the one who showed me that I have a reason to live. That my life is worth living. If your wondering how she did this, it's simple. She became my friend, she treated me like I was a regular person. She spoke to me as if today had never happened and most of all she was kind. Kind in the simplest of ways. She smiled, and made me feel human at a time when I felt like an empty shell. I have since in a way become a part of her family. She includes me on family days out and I have come to feel at home with her family. They are some of the most amazing people I have ever met, her husband, her sons, her niece and her nephew. Through them I have been able to meet and become friends with more people and I will be forever grateful of the day that I met her as I don't think I would be the person I am today had I not met her.

So what's happened since then. Well where should I start. .

this is going to be a long journey so I guess I'll stop here. I'll continue to update this eventually but not right now. I feel I've written a lot as it is and I have bared it all to you and I'm just too numb inside right now to continue. That's not to say I'm not happy, it's just it's hard to be happy when I remember these things.

I just hope that none of my family or the people I've met in New Zealand sees this. :/

Reality

Wow, so looking back on my old posts is weird. Whenever I re-read these posts it feels as if I am reading someone else's blog. I always seem so disconnected to what I write. Oh well . . . I don't have a lot to discuss so I'm going to go now but I'm hoping to update this blog every few weeks.

SOOOOOO HAPPY

Wahahahahaahaha I'm so excited!! I've made some plans to meet up some new friends woohoo :3 A day out hunting with Seth and Jenny and then a movie marathon day with Sara, I'm not sure who else will be there with her though XD I'm so happy :)

I just need to plan some more things to do so that I can get to know them better. I have 3 months left in New Zealand but that could potentially change to being 8 months XD I'd just need to work out my accommodation and work. I'm so glad to feeling myself again, I'm loving movies and music again so I'm feeling awesome XD

But I have to say that I never knew having a crush on someone could be so hard :,) especially seeing as I'm such a shy person. How to I get to know them better and become close to them? I know trying too hard is not going to work as I have to be myself but yeah I'm totally not experienced in this department but that's okay I can only try my best and hope for a good result. Hopefully things will fall into place :D Fingers crossed, wish me luck :3

The truth

On the 30th March 2014 I attempted to commit suicide. Recently due to a chain of events I'm starting to think 'would it have been better if I had died?' I took an overdose but clearly I didn't take enough as i ended up being perfectly fine. Sometimes I wish I was dead, but then I think of my friends and family who'd be sad. It's one of the only reasons I haven't tried again. That and the fear that it won't work again. Dying isn't the hard part, surviving is :,(

New Zealand Trip - Part 1

Ok so where should I start? At the beginning I guess. SO on the 5^th February 2014 I arrived in New Zealand, a little jet lagged but so happy and excited. The first day here I was shown around the town and got to have a quick look at what the town was like. It was nice, a little quiet, but hey it’s not Wales right??

So then on my first full day here I found myself with nothing to do. I was taken to a market festival during lunch which was nice but it was over pretty quickly and I found I had gone back to having nothing to do. This is what the first couple of weeks were like, admittedly I was taken to get a new phone and to get a bank account but nothing really happened. 

Then almost two weeks later things changed, my aunt’s new husbands niece came back to stay with them so things became a lot more interesting in the house. Introducing Little Miss Robyn. At first I wasn’t sure what to make of her as I’d heard stories from my aunt and she didn’t exactly paint a good impression of Robyn. I didn’t want to be the annoying relative that she was forced to be friends with. I also thought that seeing as she’s older we wouldn’t have much to talk about. But guess what? I was wrong.

Meeting Robyn turned out to be one of the best things that has happened to me since coming to New Zealand. It gave me the opportunity to speak to someone and be honest with myself about how I truly felt. This is because she didn’t judge me and I could pretty much say whatever was on my mind, even if it cause a few weird looks. It was good to be able to be myself around such a happy and confident person. She made me feel more confident and brave I guess you could say.

Robyn was the one who helped me to get a job here, she set up the meeting and I went and got signed up for work. She was also the one who helped to do my first bit of travelling since being here. We went to Queenstown and it was an amazing experience for me, you’d have to ask Robyn for her opinion, but I think she enjoyed it too. In order to get to Queenstown I had to purchase bus tickets online, however as I did and still don’t have a debit card I wasn’t able to. In comes Robyn, she let me use her card so that I could pay for bus tickets and accommodation. I transferred the money to her and she entered her details. Job done, yay. Robyn offered, my aunt did not :\

Not long after Robyn arrived, her and my aunt had a falling out which resulted in Robyn moving out. When this happened I was upset as I couldn’t figure out what she was supposed to have done to make my aunt hate her so much. Yes my aunt does hate her, she tells me so pretty much every time she ever mentions Robyn. She’s on a “Make Leigh hate Robyn” campaign at the moment but that’s another story.

So lets talk about Queenstown. It was great, admittedly the long bus journey there was so damn boring, but it was worth it. The first night we arrived in QT (QT-Queenstown) late at night so we checked into the hostel, put our bags away and then went out for dinner. We had thai food and what I ordered was damn hot that I couldn’t eat it :,). After that we went back to our dorm/room and went to sleep.

The next day we were up early to catch the bus to do the Milford Sound tour. It was another long drive but yet again it was worth it. The views on the way down were amazing and I wish I could have taken better photos but unfortunately I’m crap at photography so that didn’t happen :,). When we arrived at Milford Sound to the cruise I was amazed that there could such a beautiful place tucked away here in NZ. The cruise that we went on was short, about an hour and a half, but it was filled with breath-taking views and it was simply amazing. I took lots of pictures but as I’m not great at photography they didn’t all turn out great, but that’s okay at least I tried, right?

So day 3 of QT, not much happened, we had a browse through the shops and got to have a look at the beautiful scenery around the town, it was a good day. The one thing that sticks in my mind though is when we went to price up some adrenaline things for Robyn. We went to a place called Peter Pans and asked about the different things. We ended up deciding to do the Shotover Canyon swing, or should I say I decided to do it. I kind of didn’t give Robyn much of a choice, I told her that she’s doing it as I wanted to and I wasn’t going to do it alone. XD So after we’d booked it we were able to relax for the rest of the evening.  We went on a self-made mini pub crawl, which was a lot of fun. We went into a bar that was pretty much inside of a freezer, Minus 5 and boy did it live up to its name. We were given warm coats to wear and gloves. It was great, we stayed and had 2 vodka cocktails each before moving onto the next place. So that’s pretty much how we spent our night. :3

On the day of the canyon swing, I was so nervous that I woke up every hour starting at 5 and finishing at 10. All the while Robyn was still all cwtched up in bed sleeping peacefully. As I was awake and bored and I didn’t really want to wake her up, I got up showered, and went for a short walk. By the time I got back to the room, she was awake and it was almost time for us to head over to the meet up point for the canyon swing. The actual canyon swing was one of the scariest and most amazing things I have ever done in my life and I’m so thankful to Robyn for being there and helping me to do it. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t been there. I have photos and a video of the event, which I won’t be sharing because I don’t think Robyn would be too happy with it lol, plus  I screamed like a baby so it’s kind of embarrassing for me. Haha

So that’s pretty much it for the Queenstown trip. After we got back to Ashburton we parted ways and I’ll admit I got upset, At the house, not when I said goodbye to Robyn. Kind of pathetic right? I was just sad that Robyn was all the way on the other side of town and that I wasn’t able to speak to her as easily as I used to , when she was living with us. I got a little depressed but it was sorted the next day :,) I was able to talk to Robyn and clear the air so to speak.

So for the next couple of weeks I wasn’t able to speak to Robyn much and this made me upset. It made me think how can I be so upset over someone I’ve only just met, It’s kind of weird. So on the 20^th March We met up for one last meal in NZ, Robyn was flying home the next day and I wanted to be able to say goodbye. I was working in the day and was almost in tears when I was told we had to work late as I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to see Robyn before she left. Fortunately I was able to meet up with her. We had a meal and went out for a drink and we were able to have a really long chat which was good. When it came to saying goodbye, I didn’t want Robyn to go. I understand that she had already been in NZ for 10 months and that she wanted to see her family, I guess I was selfish but I wanted her to stay. On the way back to the house, she walked me halfway back, I kept looking behind me as I was afraid that when I did I’d find that she had disappeared. But she didn’t, halfway to the house we stopped, had a hug and ended up talking more before one last hug and parting ways. On the way back to the house I was devastated that she was going, it hurt and I can’t say why but it just did. When I got in the house, My aunt asked why I was so upset, and all I could say was “Because I don’t want Robyn to go” before starting to cry so I left the room and went and had a good cry in my room :,) I found that the way my aunt reacted was pretty cold, which made things worse. She could have at least pretended to care.

So after the realisation that Robyn was gone, back home, I found myself in tears every time someone mentioned her not being here.  It took me a while to get used to, which is weird because like I said I’d only known her for little over a month but her absence left a big void that was hard to cope with. It was made worse then, when my aunt would change the subject or stop talking whenever I mentioned Robyn’s name. It was almost as if it was a taboo subject, which I found hard. Especially seeing as I only ever seem to talk about Robyn, or so I’ve been told haha lol

So yes, that’s about as far as I’m going to for now. I have more to say but I have to figure out how to put into words, if that makes sense. A lot has happened since Robyn left which is kind of surprising seeing as she’s only really been gone a little over 2 weeks :,) 

I’ll update soon but for now Bye bye xx

Anime Lock Screens

Some fun lock screens for your phones

Enjoy :)

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Whenever I go to write a blog post I sit and think what should I write? I never seem to have an idea in my mind so I usually end up typing whatever comes to mind. I wonder is the right way to do this? Or should I only blog when I have a purpose? Maybe or maybe not, either way it's not like I interact with people much on here so I guess I'm free to type anything.

I used to think that a blog would be a good way to keep people updated on the fun and exciting things I do, except I don't. Don't that is do anything fun or exciting. Causing this to turn into a diary of sorts. It makes me look back and think why did I delete all my previous posts, they weren't intended for others but main;y as a way for me to vent my thoughts. I wish I still had those posts so that I could see how far I've come and to see if I've grown as a person.

So in some ways I'm glad not many people read my blog, this way people only see what I want them to see and not know how depressed I really feel. Whether its a good thing or not, I'd like people to see me as a happy person and not know the real me.

New Years Resolutions!!

I know this is a couple of days late and a bit of a cliche but oh well.

Most people make resolutions every year and they never keep them, I'm one of them. However this year I'm hoping to actually keep them, so here we go.

 My New Years Resolutions for 2014 are:

1. Be HAPPY :3 ✔️

2. Lose weight (1 1/2 stone :{ )

3. Visit Hobbiton :) (New Zealand)

4. Get a job (New Zealand) ✔️

5. Blog/Vlog more :) ✔️


So that's it, My 5 New Years Resolutions :) They should be simple enough to complete :,3 Hopefully.

Ok bye bye

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Edit -

6. Meet and make new friends

7. Learn to drive

8. Do fun and crazy things

9. Go out more

10. Become more confident 

5 more hopefully I'll have achieved by the end of the year :)

Weekly Recommendations - Week Two

I appologise for this being slightly late, but here it is

WEEK 2

Anime - Escaflowne - Completed

Plot - Taken from Wikipedia - The series focuses on the heroine, Hitomi Kanzaki, and her adventures after she is transported to the world of Gaea, a mysterious planet where she can see Earth and its moon in the sky. On Gaea, Earth is known as the Mystic Moon. Hitomi's latent psychic powers are enhanced on Gaea and she quickly becomes embroiled in the conflicts between the Zaibach Empire and the several peaceful countries that surround it. The conflicts are brought about by the Zaibach Empire's quest to revive the legendary power from the ancient city of Atlantis. As the series progresses, many of the characters' pasts and motivations, as well as the history of Atlantis and the true nature of the planet Gaea, are revealed.

Manga - Horimiya - Ongoing

Plot - Taken from Mangafox - Hori may seem like a normal teenage girl, but she's a completely different person after school. In her workaholic parents' absence, Hori has been like a parent for her little brother since she was young herself. Between taking care of her brother, feeding them both, and housework, she doesn't have much time for a usual teenage social life. One day, she meets someone else who does not present his true self at school: a quiet, glasses-wearing boy called Miyamura. She'd assumed he was bookish, and possibly an otaku, but Hori couldn't have been more wrong. Outside of school, Miyamura is a friendly guy with many piercings, and he's not very good at academics. Now the two of them have someone with whom they can share both halves of their lives!

Game - Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon

Plot/Setting - Taken from Wikipedia - Fragile Dreams is set in a post-apocalyptic version of Earth in the near-future. Almost all the world's population has vanished, leaving the surviving buildings at structures abandoned. The game is set in and near the ruins of Tokyo, Japan, where the event that nearly wiped out humanity may have originated.

The protagonist, Seto, is a 15-year-old boy who searches the world for other living humans. He encounters Ren, a silver-haired girl who often leaves behind large, cryptic drawings. Other characters include: Sai, the ghost of a young woman; Crow, an mischievous and straightforward amnesiac boy; Personal Frame (P.F.), a portable computer who loves having conversations more than anything else; Chiyo, the ghost of a little girl; and the Merchant, a mysterious yet merry man who trades various goods. The game's host of enemies mainly consist of ghosts, but also include humanoid robots and security proxies. The main antagonist, Shin, is the AI of a scientist who considers speech to be an inferior means of communication. Various memory items include a greater set of characters, each giving hints to the game's back-story.


Song - Alice Nine - Rainbows 

Visual Kei - Band - Alice Nine - Shou (Vocals), Tora ( L - Guitar), Hiroto ( R- Guitar), Saga ( Bass ) and Nao ( Drums ). All so very sexy in their own ways :3

Movie - The Life of David Gale

Plot - Taken from Wikipedia - David Gale is a prisoner on death row in Texas. With only a few days to his execution, his lawyer negotiates a half million-dollar fee to tell his story to Bitsey Bloom, a journalist from a major news magazine known for her ability to keep secrets and protect her sources. He tells her the story of how he ended up on death row, revealed to the movie audience through a series of lengthy flashbacks.

David Gale is accused of murder and is facing the death sentence, but did he really commit murder or is he innocent. 

Book - The five people you meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom

Plot - Taken from goodreads - Eddie is a wounded war veteran, an old man who has lived, in his mind, an uninspired life. His job is fixing rides at a seaside amusement park. On his 83rd birthday, a tragic accident kills him as he tries to save a little girl from a falling cart. He awakes in the afterlife, where he learns that heaven is not a destination, but an answer.

TV Show - American Horror Story - Season 3 - Coven

Plot - Taken from Wikipedia - It's been around 300 years since the Salem witch trials. Those witches who remain are almost extinct and in danger once again. A school has opened in New Orleans to teach young witches how to protect themselves. The long-absent Supreme, Fiona (Jessica Lange), arrives to ensure the safety of the coven and their secrets. Fiona's daughter, Cordelia (Sarah Paulson), teaches at the school. Events reveal a long-held rivalry between the witches of Salem and the Voodoo practitioners of New Orleans, as well as a historic grudge between Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) and socialite serial killer Delphine LaLaurie (Kathy Bates). The primary theme of the season is oppression; specifically, the oppression of marginalized groups. Other themes include witchcraft, Voodoo, racism, and family, such as the relationships between mothers and daughters. The season is set primarily in modern day and includes flashbacks to the 1830s.

I hope you enjoy my recommendations, and if you try any of them please feel free to comment below about what you thought of them.

Bye Bye
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