I finally got my provisional licence this week. It only took 3 years of procrastination to get it, but oh. Now all i have to do is book some driving lessons and star having a look at the highway code. Planning on attempting the theory test first, as everyone I've spoken to/asked has recommended to do it first :D. Wish me luck, cos I'm going to need it:D
On another note, i have found some jobs to apply for and hopefully i'll get them, well at least one of them. fingers crossed :S
Thursday 29 March 2012
Sunday 11 March 2012
Tuesday 6 March 2012
Provisional Licence
Tomorrow I will finally be applying for my provisional drivers licence. :)
yay
I will have to get my photo's done in the morning and take them to the post office then part with money, so sad TT^TT. So hopefully I will be either learning to or already driving by my 20th birthday this year. obviously i won't have a car but oh well. i'll wait until i can drive before worrying about a car. :3
yay
I will have to get my photo's done in the morning and take them to the post office then part with money, so sad TT^TT. So hopefully I will be either learning to or already driving by my 20th birthday this year. obviously i won't have a car but oh well. i'll wait until i can drive before worrying about a car. :3
Sunday 4 March 2012
My Life
When I was 7 I used to wish I was an adult so that I could do anything I wanted. I thought that I'd be confident and happy and able to cope with everything that the world threw at me. Oh how wrong I was. Now that I'm 19 and almost 20 I dream of the simpler times when everything was done for me. I never had to work and could just coast through life. As of October last year I am unemployed and I am hating it so much.
When I finished school at 16 I had no idea what I wanted to do in life, apart from knowing that I did not want to work in a hair salon, as I had previously helped out at my cousin's salon for a couple of days. I hated it, but that's was probably because I had no previous training and didn't know what to. even though all I did was answer the phone, clean, make tea and eventually washed clients hair.
So after school I signed up for college and started doing my As levels. However due to not talking to my old friends from school (who happened to be in all my classes TT^TT) I felt alone and isolated in college so I quit after 3 months.
I went to join the Army Prep course in another college as I'd seen one of my friends on it and saw how much she was enjoying it. I thought that if I joined i too would be happy with it as well, but I guess I have bad judgement, as I ended up hating the course and quit after 2 weeks.
As you can clearly see I've made some bad choices, so finally my sister said that if I couldn't find anything better to do my self then I would have to go to Careers Wales and ask about an apprenticeship or to go on another course. Doing this led me to being put on a work experience programme in a nursery. No doubtingly you've guessed it, I hated it there. It's not that I disliked working with the children it's just that the staff put too much responsibility on the work experience people, and didn't really support us the way they should have. So I ended up quitting after about 2 months.
From there I went on to do more work experience, this time in a retail shop, Wilkinson's. Some people may laugh about working there but I can honestly say that I was the happiest I'd ever been when I worked there. However after 18 months I sadly had to leave as the work experience course I was on was finishing and there was no hope of me getting a job at the end of it.
Before I finished at Wilkinson's my mother managed to get me a job helping out in the kitchen of a pub that a friend of hers's daughter owned. At first I was excited about the prospect of working in a bar but as the days grew closer and the time for me to start arrived I panicked. The first day was horrific I got shouted at constantly and was expected to know how to do everything. That night I came home crying and dreaded working the next day. I managed to go back a second time and even though it was better I still coudn't cope. I wanted to tell my mom but I didn't want to let her down. As the week passed and my next shift was coming up I panicked and had a mini breakdown, I couldn't face going back there. This was when my sister took me to the doctor and found out that I was slightly depressed. The doctor reccomended some activities such as join a group to try and make me happier as she didn't think that medication helps everyone and in some cases makes things worse.
So moving on from that experience I got a job on a market stall newsagents that was owned by a family friend. This was supposed to help build my confidence and self-esteem, however it did the opposite and made things worse. I admit that working on the stall made me speak louder and join in conversations but that's all it did. Initially I hated working there, some days I would come home crying and I wanted to quit and give up so many times. However as I had no other job opportunities available I had to stay. I'm glad I did in a way as I was able to pay for my self to go on holiday for two weeks and pay for spending and all the other paraphernalia that goes with holidays :D. However the feeling of not wanting to be at the job was still there, the reason was that I was constantly being criticised and compared to some one who used to work there before I did. Eventually though, the comments got too much and I quit. and that's what brings me to where I am now.
A lot of people may say that it's my own fault that I'm in this situation , and I agree, however I place my happiness and sanity higher that anything. While I was working at Wilkinson's my slight depression that I had, lifted and I was genuinely happier than I had been in years, however when I worked in the market stall i noticed it starting to slip. I no longer found interest in the things I used to love and didn't care for anything really. I still can't say that I'm happy anymore. I no longer have favorite colour's or food or anything anymore. Whenever I try to think pf stuff like that I just come up empty. Nothing, blank empty thoughts. It makes feel like a freak that I can't enjoy the things I know I love anymore.
OK so if you've manged to read all of this I commend you , and hope that I didn't bore you with a snapshot of my life story.
= ^ - ^ =
When I finished school at 16 I had no idea what I wanted to do in life, apart from knowing that I did not want to work in a hair salon, as I had previously helped out at my cousin's salon for a couple of days. I hated it, but that's was probably because I had no previous training and didn't know what to. even though all I did was answer the phone, clean, make tea and eventually washed clients hair.
So after school I signed up for college and started doing my As levels. However due to not talking to my old friends from school (who happened to be in all my classes TT^TT) I felt alone and isolated in college so I quit after 3 months.
I went to join the Army Prep course in another college as I'd seen one of my friends on it and saw how much she was enjoying it. I thought that if I joined i too would be happy with it as well, but I guess I have bad judgement, as I ended up hating the course and quit after 2 weeks.
As you can clearly see I've made some bad choices, so finally my sister said that if I couldn't find anything better to do my self then I would have to go to Careers Wales and ask about an apprenticeship or to go on another course. Doing this led me to being put on a work experience programme in a nursery. No doubtingly you've guessed it, I hated it there. It's not that I disliked working with the children it's just that the staff put too much responsibility on the work experience people, and didn't really support us the way they should have. So I ended up quitting after about 2 months.
From there I went on to do more work experience, this time in a retail shop, Wilkinson's. Some people may laugh about working there but I can honestly say that I was the happiest I'd ever been when I worked there. However after 18 months I sadly had to leave as the work experience course I was on was finishing and there was no hope of me getting a job at the end of it.
Before I finished at Wilkinson's my mother managed to get me a job helping out in the kitchen of a pub that a friend of hers's daughter owned. At first I was excited about the prospect of working in a bar but as the days grew closer and the time for me to start arrived I panicked. The first day was horrific I got shouted at constantly and was expected to know how to do everything. That night I came home crying and dreaded working the next day. I managed to go back a second time and even though it was better I still coudn't cope. I wanted to tell my mom but I didn't want to let her down. As the week passed and my next shift was coming up I panicked and had a mini breakdown, I couldn't face going back there. This was when my sister took me to the doctor and found out that I was slightly depressed. The doctor reccomended some activities such as join a group to try and make me happier as she didn't think that medication helps everyone and in some cases makes things worse.
So moving on from that experience I got a job on a market stall newsagents that was owned by a family friend. This was supposed to help build my confidence and self-esteem, however it did the opposite and made things worse. I admit that working on the stall made me speak louder and join in conversations but that's all it did. Initially I hated working there, some days I would come home crying and I wanted to quit and give up so many times. However as I had no other job opportunities available I had to stay. I'm glad I did in a way as I was able to pay for my self to go on holiday for two weeks and pay for spending and all the other paraphernalia that goes with holidays :D. However the feeling of not wanting to be at the job was still there, the reason was that I was constantly being criticised and compared to some one who used to work there before I did. Eventually though, the comments got too much and I quit. and that's what brings me to where I am now.
A lot of people may say that it's my own fault that I'm in this situation , and I agree, however I place my happiness and sanity higher that anything. While I was working at Wilkinson's my slight depression that I had, lifted and I was genuinely happier than I had been in years, however when I worked in the market stall i noticed it starting to slip. I no longer found interest in the things I used to love and didn't care for anything really. I still can't say that I'm happy anymore. I no longer have favorite colour's or food or anything anymore. Whenever I try to think pf stuff like that I just come up empty. Nothing, blank empty thoughts. It makes feel like a freak that I can't enjoy the things I know I love anymore.
OK so if you've manged to read all of this I commend you , and hope that I didn't bore you with a snapshot of my life story.
= ^ - ^ =
Saturday 3 March 2012
Boredom
I've realised that I never seem to write anything of any particular interest on here. But that's about to change hopefully :D from today on-wards I will be blogging about the things/goals that I want to achieve by the end of 2012 :D
The Goals :3
1. Learn to drive
2. Get a job
3. Get an iPhone
4. Get a laptop
5. Lose 1 1/2 stone ( :O this will be hard)
6. Dress the way I want (More) :)
7.Cut and dye my hair
8. Finally make videos for YouTube :S
9. Get new glasses
10. Finish decorating my room
As you can see a lot of the goals are materialistic but oh well :) the list was longer but i achieved two of the goals so they got crossed off. yay
anyways going to go now as i have nothing else to say other than , Wish me luck :D . . . . please :)
The Goals :3
1. Learn to drive
2. Get a job
3. Get an iPhone
4. Get a laptop
5. Lose 1 1/2 stone ( :O this will be hard)
6. Dress the way I want (More) :)
7.Cut and dye my hair
8. Finally make videos for YouTube :S
9. Get new glasses
10. Finish decorating my room
As you can see a lot of the goals are materialistic but oh well :) the list was longer but i achieved two of the goals so they got crossed off. yay
anyways going to go now as i have nothing else to say other than , Wish me luck :D . . . . please :)
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