SOOOOOO HAPPY

Wahahahahaahaha I'm so excited!! I've made some plans to meet up some new friends woohoo :3 A day out hunting with Seth and Jenny and then a movie marathon day with Sara, I'm not sure who else will be there with her though XD I'm so happy :)

I just need to plan some more things to do so that I can get to know them better. I have 3 months left in New Zealand but that could potentially change to being 8 months XD I'd just need to work out my accommodation and work. I'm so glad to feeling myself again, I'm loving movies and music again so I'm feeling awesome XD

But I have to say that I never knew having a crush on someone could be so hard :,) especially seeing as I'm such a shy person. How to I get to know them better and become close to them? I know trying too hard is not going to work as I have to be myself but yeah I'm totally not experienced in this department but that's okay I can only try my best and hope for a good result. Hopefully things will fall into place :D Fingers crossed, wish me luck :3

The truth

On the 30th March 2014 I attempted to commit suicide. Recently due to a chain of events I'm starting to think 'would it have been better if I had died?' I took an overdose but clearly I didn't take enough as i ended up being perfectly fine. Sometimes I wish I was dead, but then I think of my friends and family who'd be sad. It's one of the only reasons I haven't tried again. That and the fear that it won't work again. Dying isn't the hard part, surviving is :,(

New Zealand Trip - Part 1

Ok so where should I start? At the beginning I guess. SO on the 5^th February 2014 I arrived in New Zealand, a little jet lagged but so happy and excited. The first day here I was shown around the town and got to have a quick look at what the town was like. It was nice, a little quiet, but hey it’s not Wales right??

So then on my first full day here I found myself with nothing to do. I was taken to a market festival during lunch which was nice but it was over pretty quickly and I found I had gone back to having nothing to do. This is what the first couple of weeks were like, admittedly I was taken to get a new phone and to get a bank account but nothing really happened. 

Then almost two weeks later things changed, my aunt’s new husbands niece came back to stay with them so things became a lot more interesting in the house. Introducing Little Miss Robyn. At first I wasn’t sure what to make of her as I’d heard stories from my aunt and she didn’t exactly paint a good impression of Robyn. I didn’t want to be the annoying relative that she was forced to be friends with. I also thought that seeing as she’s older we wouldn’t have much to talk about. But guess what? I was wrong.

Meeting Robyn turned out to be one of the best things that has happened to me since coming to New Zealand. It gave me the opportunity to speak to someone and be honest with myself about how I truly felt. This is because she didn’t judge me and I could pretty much say whatever was on my mind, even if it cause a few weird looks. It was good to be able to be myself around such a happy and confident person. She made me feel more confident and brave I guess you could say.

Robyn was the one who helped me to get a job here, she set up the meeting and I went and got signed up for work. She was also the one who helped to do my first bit of travelling since being here. We went to Queenstown and it was an amazing experience for me, you’d have to ask Robyn for her opinion, but I think she enjoyed it too. In order to get to Queenstown I had to purchase bus tickets online, however as I did and still don’t have a debit card I wasn’t able to. In comes Robyn, she let me use her card so that I could pay for bus tickets and accommodation. I transferred the money to her and she entered her details. Job done, yay. Robyn offered, my aunt did not :\

Not long after Robyn arrived, her and my aunt had a falling out which resulted in Robyn moving out. When this happened I was upset as I couldn’t figure out what she was supposed to have done to make my aunt hate her so much. Yes my aunt does hate her, she tells me so pretty much every time she ever mentions Robyn. She’s on a “Make Leigh hate Robyn” campaign at the moment but that’s another story.

So lets talk about Queenstown. It was great, admittedly the long bus journey there was so damn boring, but it was worth it. The first night we arrived in QT (QT-Queenstown) late at night so we checked into the hostel, put our bags away and then went out for dinner. We had thai food and what I ordered was damn hot that I couldn’t eat it :,). After that we went back to our dorm/room and went to sleep.

The next day we were up early to catch the bus to do the Milford Sound tour. It was another long drive but yet again it was worth it. The views on the way down were amazing and I wish I could have taken better photos but unfortunately I’m crap at photography so that didn’t happen :,). When we arrived at Milford Sound to the cruise I was amazed that there could such a beautiful place tucked away here in NZ. The cruise that we went on was short, about an hour and a half, but it was filled with breath-taking views and it was simply amazing. I took lots of pictures but as I’m not great at photography they didn’t all turn out great, but that’s okay at least I tried, right?

So day 3 of QT, not much happened, we had a browse through the shops and got to have a look at the beautiful scenery around the town, it was a good day. The one thing that sticks in my mind though is when we went to price up some adrenaline things for Robyn. We went to a place called Peter Pans and asked about the different things. We ended up deciding to do the Shotover Canyon swing, or should I say I decided to do it. I kind of didn’t give Robyn much of a choice, I told her that she’s doing it as I wanted to and I wasn’t going to do it alone. XD So after we’d booked it we were able to relax for the rest of the evening.  We went on a self-made mini pub crawl, which was a lot of fun. We went into a bar that was pretty much inside of a freezer, Minus 5 and boy did it live up to its name. We were given warm coats to wear and gloves. It was great, we stayed and had 2 vodka cocktails each before moving onto the next place. So that’s pretty much how we spent our night. :3

On the day of the canyon swing, I was so nervous that I woke up every hour starting at 5 and finishing at 10. All the while Robyn was still all cwtched up in bed sleeping peacefully. As I was awake and bored and I didn’t really want to wake her up, I got up showered, and went for a short walk. By the time I got back to the room, she was awake and it was almost time for us to head over to the meet up point for the canyon swing. The actual canyon swing was one of the scariest and most amazing things I have ever done in my life and I’m so thankful to Robyn for being there and helping me to do it. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t been there. I have photos and a video of the event, which I won’t be sharing because I don’t think Robyn would be too happy with it lol, plus  I screamed like a baby so it’s kind of embarrassing for me. Haha

So that’s pretty much it for the Queenstown trip. After we got back to Ashburton we parted ways and I’ll admit I got upset, At the house, not when I said goodbye to Robyn. Kind of pathetic right? I was just sad that Robyn was all the way on the other side of town and that I wasn’t able to speak to her as easily as I used to , when she was living with us. I got a little depressed but it was sorted the next day :,) I was able to talk to Robyn and clear the air so to speak.

So for the next couple of weeks I wasn’t able to speak to Robyn much and this made me upset. It made me think how can I be so upset over someone I’ve only just met, It’s kind of weird. So on the 20^th March We met up for one last meal in NZ, Robyn was flying home the next day and I wanted to be able to say goodbye. I was working in the day and was almost in tears when I was told we had to work late as I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to see Robyn before she left. Fortunately I was able to meet up with her. We had a meal and went out for a drink and we were able to have a really long chat which was good. When it came to saying goodbye, I didn’t want Robyn to go. I understand that she had already been in NZ for 10 months and that she wanted to see her family, I guess I was selfish but I wanted her to stay. On the way back to the house, she walked me halfway back, I kept looking behind me as I was afraid that when I did I’d find that she had disappeared. But she didn’t, halfway to the house we stopped, had a hug and ended up talking more before one last hug and parting ways. On the way back to the house I was devastated that she was going, it hurt and I can’t say why but it just did. When I got in the house, My aunt asked why I was so upset, and all I could say was “Because I don’t want Robyn to go” before starting to cry so I left the room and went and had a good cry in my room :,) I found that the way my aunt reacted was pretty cold, which made things worse. She could have at least pretended to care.

So after the realisation that Robyn was gone, back home, I found myself in tears every time someone mentioned her not being here.  It took me a while to get used to, which is weird because like I said I’d only known her for little over a month but her absence left a big void that was hard to cope with. It was made worse then, when my aunt would change the subject or stop talking whenever I mentioned Robyn’s name. It was almost as if it was a taboo subject, which I found hard. Especially seeing as I only ever seem to talk about Robyn, or so I’ve been told haha lol

So yes, that’s about as far as I’m going to for now. I have more to say but I have to figure out how to put into words, if that makes sense. A lot has happened since Robyn left which is kind of surprising seeing as she’s only really been gone a little over 2 weeks :,) 

I’ll update soon but for now Bye bye xx

Anime Lock Screens

Some fun lock screens for your phones

Enjoy :)

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Whenever I go to write a blog post I sit and think what should I write? I never seem to have an idea in my mind so I usually end up typing whatever comes to mind. I wonder is the right way to do this? Or should I only blog when I have a purpose? Maybe or maybe not, either way it's not like I interact with people much on here so I guess I'm free to type anything.

I used to think that a blog would be a good way to keep people updated on the fun and exciting things I do, except I don't. Don't that is do anything fun or exciting. Causing this to turn into a diary of sorts. It makes me look back and think why did I delete all my previous posts, they weren't intended for others but main;y as a way for me to vent my thoughts. I wish I still had those posts so that I could see how far I've come and to see if I've grown as a person.

So in some ways I'm glad not many people read my blog, this way people only see what I want them to see and not know how depressed I really feel. Whether its a good thing or not, I'd like people to see me as a happy person and not know the real me.

New Years Resolutions!!

I know this is a couple of days late and a bit of a cliche but oh well.

Most people make resolutions every year and they never keep them, I'm one of them. However this year I'm hoping to actually keep them, so here we go.

 My New Years Resolutions for 2014 are:

1. Be HAPPY :3 ✔️

2. Lose weight (1 1/2 stone :{ )

3. Visit Hobbiton :) (New Zealand)

4. Get a job (New Zealand) ✔️

5. Blog/Vlog more :) ✔️


So that's it, My 5 New Years Resolutions :) They should be simple enough to complete :,3 Hopefully.

Ok bye bye

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Edit -

6. Meet and make new friends

7. Learn to drive

8. Do fun and crazy things

9. Go out more

10. Become more confident 

5 more hopefully I'll have achieved by the end of the year :)

Weekly Recommendations - Week Two

I appologise for this being slightly late, but here it is

WEEK 2

Anime - Escaflowne - Completed

Plot - Taken from Wikipedia - The series focuses on the heroine, Hitomi Kanzaki, and her adventures after she is transported to the world of Gaea, a mysterious planet where she can see Earth and its moon in the sky. On Gaea, Earth is known as the Mystic Moon. Hitomi's latent psychic powers are enhanced on Gaea and she quickly becomes embroiled in the conflicts between the Zaibach Empire and the several peaceful countries that surround it. The conflicts are brought about by the Zaibach Empire's quest to revive the legendary power from the ancient city of Atlantis. As the series progresses, many of the characters' pasts and motivations, as well as the history of Atlantis and the true nature of the planet Gaea, are revealed.

Manga - Horimiya - Ongoing

Plot - Taken from Mangafox - Hori may seem like a normal teenage girl, but she's a completely different person after school. In her workaholic parents' absence, Hori has been like a parent for her little brother since she was young herself. Between taking care of her brother, feeding them both, and housework, she doesn't have much time for a usual teenage social life. One day, she meets someone else who does not present his true self at school: a quiet, glasses-wearing boy called Miyamura. She'd assumed he was bookish, and possibly an otaku, but Hori couldn't have been more wrong. Outside of school, Miyamura is a friendly guy with many piercings, and he's not very good at academics. Now the two of them have someone with whom they can share both halves of their lives!

Game - Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon

Plot/Setting - Taken from Wikipedia - Fragile Dreams is set in a post-apocalyptic version of Earth in the near-future. Almost all the world's population has vanished, leaving the surviving buildings at structures abandoned. The game is set in and near the ruins of Tokyo, Japan, where the event that nearly wiped out humanity may have originated.

The protagonist, Seto, is a 15-year-old boy who searches the world for other living humans. He encounters Ren, a silver-haired girl who often leaves behind large, cryptic drawings. Other characters include: Sai, the ghost of a young woman; Crow, an mischievous and straightforward amnesiac boy; Personal Frame (P.F.), a portable computer who loves having conversations more than anything else; Chiyo, the ghost of a little girl; and the Merchant, a mysterious yet merry man who trades various goods. The game's host of enemies mainly consist of ghosts, but also include humanoid robots and security proxies. The main antagonist, Shin, is the AI of a scientist who considers speech to be an inferior means of communication. Various memory items include a greater set of characters, each giving hints to the game's back-story.


Song - Alice Nine - Rainbows 

Visual Kei - Band - Alice Nine - Shou (Vocals), Tora ( L - Guitar), Hiroto ( R- Guitar), Saga ( Bass ) and Nao ( Drums ). All so very sexy in their own ways :3

Movie - The Life of David Gale

Plot - Taken from Wikipedia - David Gale is a prisoner on death row in Texas. With only a few days to his execution, his lawyer negotiates a half million-dollar fee to tell his story to Bitsey Bloom, a journalist from a major news magazine known for her ability to keep secrets and protect her sources. He tells her the story of how he ended up on death row, revealed to the movie audience through a series of lengthy flashbacks.

David Gale is accused of murder and is facing the death sentence, but did he really commit murder or is he innocent. 

Book - The five people you meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom

Plot - Taken from goodreads - Eddie is a wounded war veteran, an old man who has lived, in his mind, an uninspired life. His job is fixing rides at a seaside amusement park. On his 83rd birthday, a tragic accident kills him as he tries to save a little girl from a falling cart. He awakes in the afterlife, where he learns that heaven is not a destination, but an answer.

TV Show - American Horror Story - Season 3 - Coven

Plot - Taken from Wikipedia - It's been around 300 years since the Salem witch trials. Those witches who remain are almost extinct and in danger once again. A school has opened in New Orleans to teach young witches how to protect themselves. The long-absent Supreme, Fiona (Jessica Lange), arrives to ensure the safety of the coven and their secrets. Fiona's daughter, Cordelia (Sarah Paulson), teaches at the school. Events reveal a long-held rivalry between the witches of Salem and the Voodoo practitioners of New Orleans, as well as a historic grudge between Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) and socialite serial killer Delphine LaLaurie (Kathy Bates). The primary theme of the season is oppression; specifically, the oppression of marginalized groups. Other themes include witchcraft, Voodoo, racism, and family, such as the relationships between mothers and daughters. The season is set primarily in modern day and includes flashbacks to the 1830s.

I hope you enjoy my recommendations, and if you try any of them please feel free to comment below about what you thought of them.

Bye Bye
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